How Can I Hope In A God Who Hurts Me

Job 2:9 “Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.”
Whenever I first read what Job’s wife said to him I couldn’t believe such a faithful man was married to someone like her. God had alllowed Satan to take away everything from Job, his family, his livestock, his servants, his health even. And of course Job was upset, but he never sinned against God. 

Ever since we got back from our honeymoon me and Tj have been serving God and following Him without question. We have sacrificed alot especially for a newly wed couple. Now, two years later, the loan for the house we wanted fell through, we have had marriage problems that I wasn’t sure how we were going to work out, tax season did not come out in our favor, and a loved one is about to pass away. 

When all of this started happening, my first reaction was anger. Why would God not bless us when we have sacrificed for Him? He is able to heal my grandma, so why isn’t He? Why is He putting something in our marriage that seems like its tearing us apart? 

Matthew 8:23-26 “And when he got nto the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was fast asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And He said to them, “Why are you afraid , O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.”

The disciples were about to die, and Jesus was just sleeping. Why is He sleeping during what feels like the time I need him most?  To test my faith? 

The very next verse after He calms the storm is what really spoke to me.

“And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?”

He is the Son of God, who does have the power to heal (Matthew 8:16), in fact He had just got through healing many and casting out demons before He got on the boat. He can provide when there is nothing to provide with (Matthew 14:13-21). 

But, even if He didn’t calm the storm, if He didn’t heal the sick, if He didn’t feed the 5,000, He is still God.

Even though He decided not to give us that house, and make us pay in taxes, and decides not to heal my grandma, He is still God.

And that alone is more than enough reason for me to praise Him, and remain faithful in trusting that He desires good for me (Jeremiah 29:11). 

And also that He weeps with me. John 11:33 “When Jesus saw her weeping , and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled” verse 35 “Jesus wept.”

That doesn’t mean I won’t be upset or sad or disappointed. The book of Job is nothing but sorrow. 

But the last part of 2:10 is the key, “…in all this Job did not sin with his lips.”

But it gets even better! Job’s response to God’s hand of destruction was so beautiful. 

Job 13:15 “Though He slay me, I will hope in Him.”

Yesterday I was in the car driving, just listening to music and thinking about the story of Job when this song came on Spotify. Here are some of the lyrics..

“I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt, would all go away if You just say the word, but even if You don’t, my hope is You alone”

https://youtu.be/B6fA35Ved-Y (Mercy Me Even If)
If that isn’t perfect timing then I don’t know what is. 

So, when it comes down to it I do have a little (maybe more than I want to admit) of Job’s wife in me. My first reaction is anger towards God. Just curse Him and die! But I’m glad that He has mercy on me enough to work on my heart and turn it into something more like Job’s. 

I Don’t Want The Crumbs

In my grandma’s house, on top of her piano, are old black and white pictures of her grandparents, great grandparents, cousins, etc… She has told me their names before and how I’m related to them but honestly, I couldn’t tell you if I was paid to (Sorry Nanny).
I do remember though, that whenever she talks about the people in the pictures, I can tell that they mean alot to her. Because she knew them personally, for herself, firsthand. The difference between my relationship with them, and my grandma’s reationship with them is that she knew them personally, while I just know second-hand acounts, stories, and basically just a brief overview of who they are. 


When I was first saved, I wouldn’t study the Bible for myself. My spiritual life was barely surviving on devotionals sent to my email each morning, seeing a verse against a pretty background on Instagram, and reading a cheesy, cliche, christian quote on Facebook. While those things can be good, they can’t sustain me a healthy relationship with God. 

I love to listening to John Piper’s Ask Pastor John videos on Youtube. They are short, thought provoking, and are filled with good Biblical principles that I can apply to my life. But I have noticed that instead of going and reading the Bible for myself to see what God has to show me, I will scrolll through Youtube and find a John Piper message that I feel like applies to me for that day. 

Going to church and listening to sermons is a good thing, but when you start to depend on the preacher to be your only line of communication between you and God, it isn’t so much a good thing anymore.

Whenever I tell people about Jesus, I want to speak of him like my grandma does with the pictures on her piano. I want to have a genuine care and relationship. A first hand account of my relationship with Him, not John Piper’s relationship with Him, or my pastor’s relationship with him, or even what a devotional says about my relationship with Him. I want a first hand account, personal relationship with Him. 

Psalm 119:103 “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!”

Yes, reading daily devotions, listening to sermons, reading clever christian quotes can be a good thing. They can feed my spiritual life and sustain me. But in comparison for actually reading and studying the Bible for myself, those are just the crumbs. I don’t want to live off of the crumbs from the Bread of Life!

John 6:35 “Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.”

So whenever I tell an unbeliever about Jesus Christ, I want them to hear it in my voice that I know Him. Not just second-hand stories, but personally know Him like my grandma knew the people in the pictures on her piano. Why settle for just the crumbs when I can open up the Bible and read what God has to say to me for the day:) 

Best of Entertainment 2016

Here are my favorite books, movies, and music of 2016!

MOVIES

I love a funny movie. It is just so hard to find a clean one! Mom’s Night Out is now one of my top 10 movies. Even if you aren’t a mom, you will enjoy this!

This movie…. Blew. Me. Away. Wow. I don’t really know how to describe it but you just need to watch it! It’s funny, real, deep, and has an amazing ending. 

I was so excited for this movie! This is one of my favorite bible movies! It’s about a Roman centurion tryimg to prove that Jesus is dead.

I don’t own this movie (yet) but I do have a poster! I was not expecting to love this as much as I did! Now I need to read the book:)

MUSIC

This wasn’t a new album for 2016 but it was one I literally listened to almosg every day. In particular this song above

However Bizzle did release a new album this year and evem though at first I wasn’t crazy about it, I really do like it now:) 

Sevin is a newly discovered artist for me. He is a Christian rapper but he does rap about some rough topics so probably not the best for little ears. I did enjoy alot of the songs from this album this year:)

BOOKS

I have always liked Terri Blackstock but If I Run took her writing to another level. The story was so different yet amazing! The second to this series releases this year and I already pre-ordered it. If you like crime/suspense go for this book!

I have never met a Dee Henderson book I didn’t love;) Taken was a new release last year (i believe so anyways) and I was not let down! In my opinion…you can never go wrong reading a Dee Henderson book!! If you like realistic crime/police/FBI/suspense/romance genre then this is for you!

Francine Rivers is a new author that I discovered this year. I believe that there is not another author quite like her. This book made me get on my knees and praise God for saving me. True Christian fiction should be like this book. It should draw a reader closer to God and want to open up the bible.  This is basically a telling of the story of Hosea set in the 1850s.

As much as I love Redeeming Love, The Mark of the Lion series has to be my favorite from her. The first book (A Voice In The Wind) ripped my heart out and broke it into a million pieces.  The second book (The Mark of The Lion) was the continuation of the story and I finished it in a day. The third book in this series (An Echo In Darkness) was good, but it wasn’t about thr main characters and it is difficult to follow up after a story like theirs. If you like historical/biblical/romance/heroine/ fiction you will love this. If you don’t like those genres you will still love this;)

I never thought I would find an author I like as much as Dee Henderson…but I have.  Dani Pettrey is not as well known but her writing style and stories are incredible. The Alaskan Courage series was a favorite of mine but my favorite book in the series is Shattered. Hands down. If you like romance/mystery/adventure then read this series!

This book by Dee Henderson was definitely different from her usual story lines. But, I really really loved it. I will definitely be reading the second one when it releases! If you like true crime/mystery/political/small town murder/romance then read this

Once again I was really impressed with Dani Pettrey! Cold Shot was a bool tjay sat on my shelf for months before I decided to read it. It is so good! If you like crime/romance/suspense/action/history then read this

I only have this book out of this series. But Colleen Cobles Sunset Cove series took me by surprise to say the least. I had NO IDEA she could write such amazing mystery novels!!! All 3 books in this series were great! If you like mystery/suspense/crime/romance/beach life then read this series

A non fiction book that not only holds my attention all the way through but also ends up on my favorites list has to be good. Uninvites was more than good it was eye opening, funny, and relatable. 

I almost didn’t read this book because I don’t like Ted Dekker.  The Choosing is by his daughter and I assumed her writing style and plots were going to be similat to his.. They aren’t.  She is very talented and has a writing style all her own. If you like dystopian/action/romance/future america type books then read this. 

And that’s it! These were not in any particular order, and a lot were not new for 2016 but they were new to me:) I hope you found some good recommendations and if you have any favorite things from 2016 that stood out let me know!!! 

I Don’t Love My Husband

“Tj when we get home do you care taking Moose out to go potty while I hop in the shower?” (moose is our puppy)

“Sure.”

….. It wasn’t that he said sure. But it was the way he said it.  

“Whatever Tj.”

We got home, he took Moose outside and I got in the shower seriously debating on whether or not to leave him any hot water (I’m a monster, I know.) 

While I was in there debating on whether or not to give into my pride I remembered something I had read earlier today in A Woman’s Walk With GOD by Elizabeth George.

“Love is the sacrifice of self.” 

Earlier today when I was reading that book in my room, cup of coffee in my hand. It seemed like a great concept and all. But now a couple hours later, I’m not so sure…

 The truth is, I knew this for awhile. God is love. God sent his only Son to die. Jesus sacrificed his life for us. As a Christian I am suppose to show His love to everyone around me. It just never really clicked until today that love is sacrificing my pride, my comfort, my  energy, my time, my rest, my wants, my needs, my opinions, my desires, for someone elses. 

Matthew 20:28 “even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

True love is not self seeking.

William Barclay said “Love means that no matter what a man may do to us by way of insult or injury or humiliation we will never seek anything else but his highest good…never..seek anything but the best even for those who seek the worst for us.”

Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

As  wife I am called to put Tj’s needs before mine. Not because I love him, but because I am suppose to demonstrate God’s love for him. The only way I will ever be able to truly love someone is if it is from God. Not only that, but because I love God, I should want to love others.  

Maybe you don’t have a husband. But if you are a Christian, this still applies to you. We are called to love our neighbors, our enemies, our friends, our family, that mean lady in the checkout line, the annoying co-worker, the bully at school or work, etc…. (John 13:34) (Matthew 5:43-45)

But if you aren’t saved and you never received Christ into your heart, then you don’t know what true love is. You can’t truly love someone. 

Whenever Jesus died on the cross to take the payment for our sins, and He rose again in three days, He showed us the greatest act of self-sacrificing love. He literally sacrficed himself for our sake. If you want self sacrificing love in your life, if you want to love someone with a self-sacrificing love, you can only do that if you received it from God himself by admiting that you are a sinner worthy of death, and that you believe Jesus was the Son of God and rose from the dead. 

Romans 3:23-24 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”

So, yes I love Tj. But I don’t always love him like I suppose to.

I don’t think I had a choice in falling in love with TJ (that was God’s plan). But  I do have a choice in loving him everyday with a self sacrificing love that can only come from God. 

Best of Beauty 2016

So I love reading end of the year favorites! They are always something I look forward to, seeing the best of the best for the year. Here’s mine!Too Faced Natural Matte Palette

I actually did a review on this with swatches and comparisons! 

Click here to see more!

Wet n Wild blush in Rose Champagne 

I hardly ever wear blush. Maybe once a month. But I love this one because it is so natural looking, easy to apply, and cheap.

Covergirl Clean Matte BB Cream

Honestly, I don’t know what possessed me to buy this product. I love dewy, glowy foundations. But this matte bb cream really blew me away. It has the perfect coverage and looks beautiful on the face! Covergirl is a brand that I never buy from because their products are always too pink for me (I have yellow undertones) but this matched perfectly. I was seriously blown away by this!

Too Faced Sweet Tea Bronzer

I might have only bought this because of the name😜 But this is a great bronzer that also took me by surprise. I don’t normally like baked bronzers/blushes but this is really great quality! It works for when I want to do a light “contour” also. 

Nars Radiant Creamy Concealer

My life will never be the same after using this. I ran out of my first one and didn’t want to spend the money buying another one. So I bought 3 more drugstore concealers trying to find something that would compare… But I ended up going back to my Nars concealer. I don’t know what they put in this but I love it! Full coverage, light weight, natural looking, beautiful finish. 

NYX Dark Circle Concealer Corrector

I did a review on this also with alot better pictures and a before and after!

click here to see the review!

Colourpop Aquarius Lippie Stix and Lip Liner

Pictures don’t do this color justice. It is the PERFECT lip color for me. If I could only use one lip product for life it would be this. It is beautiful!!!!

Maybelline Brow Precise Pencil

I have tried the Hourglass brow pencil and the Sephora brow pencil but this beats them both! It just works. Plus it is only like 7$ at the drugstore which makes it even better. 

Colourpop Highlighter in Spoon

This. Highlighter. It’s beautiful!!!! I love it waayyy better than Lunch Money. This is a really sparkly champagne colored highlighter. 

Wet n Wild Setting Spray

So I used to use the Urban Decay All Nighter but it really just sucked the moisture out of my skin. I prefer this Wet n Wild one over the Ud because it keeps my makeup from being too oily but at the same time gives my face a little bit extra moisture!

So that’s it! I hope maybe you found some products you might want to try! I’m already excited to try some new things in 2017 so hopefully next year I will have different yearly favorites. Have a great day and thanks for reading!!

When The Whipped Cream Goes Flying

I’m unnaturally clumsy. Not only am I clumsy, but I also have terrible luck. Bad things just always seem to happen to me that never happen to normal people. It is almost like life is a bully and I’m the little kid whose glasses are taped together. Maybe I’m having a pity party, but even my husband admits that bad things always seem to happen to me. Particularly involving drinks.

Today Tj took me to a local boutique to buy a sweatshirt that I had been on the fence about buying for awhile. This was not just any sweatshirt, it was a “dreamy soft” (that’s what the tag said), faded blue, vintage, kind of girl-next-door looking sweatshirt. 

All for just 34.98 

Of course as soon as I got in the car I ripped the tags off and put it on:) It really was dreamy soft! 

Anyways, fast forward 10 minutes later to the Mcdonald’s drive through, Tj got him a strawberry milkshake and me a hot chocolate. 

I opened up the flap to take a sip….and whipped cream came flying out all over my face, my hair, and…. My new sweatshirt. 

See? Bad luck. 

And I got so irritated and angry when it happened. At first I was mad at the guy at Mcdonald’s who made the hot chocolate.  Then I got mad at myself for spending that much money on a stupid shirt. Then I got mad at God for always allowing this kind of stuff to happen to me. 

Something that I struggle with, and always have, is anger. With a flip of a switch I can be the happiest, goofiest girl around, to being angry and bitter. And it’s always because of little stuff like flying whip cream that makes me turn. And it is normally taken out on those I love the most. Probably because I know they will always love me, no matter how ugly I can get. 

While I was sitting in the car with whipped cream dripping from my face and waiting for Tj to get back with napkins (Mcdonald’s forgot the napkins, imagine that;) God brought to my mind the story of Jonah. Growing up I knew his story, but not really. All I had been taught was that if you don’t do what God wants you too, you will probably end up in a whale’s belly. But what I didn’t learn was how the book of Jonah ended. 

Jonah finally preached to Nineveh, and they repented. But then he got angry because he hated the people of Nineveh. (4:1-4)

He left the city and sat down to watch what will happen to the city and God made a plant to grow up beside Jonah, and give him shade so he would be comfortable.Jonah was super happy! After all, he did just preach to a people he hated and been through the belly of a whale and back. A little shade, I’m sure, was much appreciated.  (4:5-6)

But then God took away the plant. A worm attacked it, and it withered then died. (4:7)

Jonah got angry. “It is better for me to die than to live.” (4:8) 

(What a brat, right?)

Then God answers him, “Do you well to be angry at the plant?” (4:9)

Was Jonah benefitting anything at all from being angry at a plant for living and dying? Was his situation changing any? Not at all. Now I think that if I was in his situation, I would be like “You know what God, you’re right. This isn’t doing me any good!” 

But every week something will happen, and I flip. Whether it’s me spilling a drink on myself or Tj leaving his kleenex in the living room floor. I always get angry. And I never benefit from it. In fact, I normally lose from it. 

Jonah answered God and said “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.” (4:9)

I wish I could say that me and Jonah don’t have anything in common. No, I never have been swallowed by a whale. But I have gotten angry about things that I have no control over. About things that happen in everyday life to everyday people. I have gotten angry at those I love most and treated them like they mean nothing to me. I have asked God what is the point of life and why does He keep allowing bad stuff to happen to me.  Me and Jonah have more in common than I would like there to be.

James 1:19-20 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

Looking back I can see how far I have come from where I used to be. There is alot of times that I give into anger and I know there will be more. But it gives me hope seeing how God has changed my heart from what it once was to what it is now. 

So next time the whip cream goes flying all over my brand new shirt (which I hope it doesn’t) I will ask myself “Do it well to be angry?” Because more likely than not, giving into my anger will only make things worse. 

When Sin Slithers In 

The past two weeks have been a struggle for me. I have struggled with a sin that I did not see coming. It has made me ask questions about sin that I never thought before. 

I asked God to take away my attraction to this sin, and to help me resist it. But in my mind Satan began to plant seeds of pride and start to convince me that because God made me and knew what I was and wasn’t attracted to, that my sin was somehow justified. 

But that is a lie. It wasn’t my attraction that was a sin, but my sin itself that is a sin (that should’ve been obvious to me 😉

An attractive guy can walk past and I won’t think twice about him. Thats not wrong. But if an attractive guy walks past me and I give into lustful thoughts, that is when it becomes a sin. 

Mark 7:14-15 “And he called the people to him again and said to them,“Hear me, all of you, and understand:There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.”

And honestly, this spiritual battle came out of nowhere. I didn’t see it coming. One day I was close and in tune with God, and the next I felt distant and disinterested.

1 Peter 4:12 “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.”

1 Peter 5:8 says the devil walks around like a roaring lion seeking to devour. 

If I seen a lion roaring and eating everything in it’s path I would’ve ran. Fast. But sometimes, Satan doesn’t come in the form of a lion but a snake. He lurks by without you even knowing. He slithers into the shadows waiting to strike. And when he does, it takes a toll. It makes me disinterested, calloused, and has lasting effects.  

John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

Even once I repented and have been forgiven he makes me feel unworthy to minister, write, laugh, pray, and read. Sin leaves behind a bitter feeling of shame. And shame is different than guilt…

Shelia Walsh said, “Guilt tells you you’ve done something wrong. Shame tells you you are something wrong.”

Romans 5:3-5 

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 

 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,

 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s lovehas been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.


When my husband first told me this verse I kind of blew him off.. Im not suffering… Im struggling with sin.

But the Greek for this word makes it alot more clear.. It also means burdened and anguish. 

Maybe it does apply to me after all…. 

This all works together to produce hope. And in hope we are not put to shame. So next time sin slithers into my life, I can know my temptations and battles can lead me to hope and that I don’t have to have shame because of God’s love that was poured out on the cross.

Here is a link to a message by Shelia Walsh about shame. It helped me alot and I hope it does you as well!

I’m an Inbetween

Last night me and Tj went to a fall party with my family and some friends. I had a lot of fun, and a lot of food;)

One thing I realized last night though, is that God brings us through different seasons of our life, to draw us closer to Him. 

The past two years have been an inbetween season for me. By that I mean a transitioning stage. I have gotten married, gone through two jobs, moved three times, and gone to at least 4 different churches. Along the way I have made awesome new friends, and lost some. I have outgrown alot of things spiritually. The past two years have been wonderful in the sense that I get to be with my best friend every day and that I now have an awesome church family who I love. But there has been times when I would just cry because a certain season of my life has ended. It has been difficult for me to accept the fact that God has a plan and that it is for my good (Jeremiah 29:11). 

I have been in situations when two years ago, I would have felt perfectly normal in. But now I feel a little bit out of place. When me and TJ first got married, our old friends didn’t want to hang out with us as much. One reason was because we didn’t like to watch and do some of the same things they did, but another reason was because we had gone from being girlfriend and boyfriend, to husband and wife. It was a little disheartening for us to find people to hang out with who were our age and married. But, me and Tj don’t have kids, so whenever we are around other couples we like and they have kids, i can kind of feel a little out of place. It’s like I am stuck between two stages of life and not quite sure what to do about it. 

The past two years, though they have been wonderful and I wouldn’t change them for anything, has been difficult to navigate through. But looking back, I see how I have grown so much spiritually and closer to God. 

I look back to the moments He allowed me to feel alone and broken-hearted, so I would finally stop and listen to Him beckoning me. 

In my moments of loneliness was when I now realize I was the most sought-after.

Whenever I feel like I finally can be myself around people, and I have great friendships going, and I get to hang out with my family alot, is usually when I start forgetting that my relationship with God matters most. 

“Not that I am speaking of being in need for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Phillipians 4:13 
Looking back, I am now thankful for all the lonely tears that I shed because those were the moments when I stopped and listened to God saying that HE, above all else, wants me. He loves me, and He seeks after me??!! He so wants to be close to me that He gets me alone to show me that He alone, can fulfill me. 

Psalm 73:28 “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever.”
In this verse the word flesh is also interpretted as flesh relation, near kin (family), blood relation, your self.

In the same verse, the word heart can be interpretted as thinking, memory, determination, emotions.

The word fail can also be interpretted as spent up, wasted away, vanish, perish, be destroyed, to be at an end, to cease.

So another way of reading this would be,

My family (or friends) and my emotions may cease, but God is the strength of my heart and my possession for ever.

Right now, I’m still at that awkward inbetween stage of life. Maybe you are too. Maybe you just retired, or your kids moved out, perhaps you moved out. Maybe you moved away from all your family and friends, or you’re trying to find a new church home. Maybe you just got saved and you’re in that stage where you old friends and old way of life isn’t as appealing as it once was. Where ever you’re at, don’t forget to look and listen for God in your moments of loneliness. And don’t let your moments of loneliness affect your relationship with God. Make the most out of your inbetween stages of life.

I Don’t Want To Talk To God

There are times in my life where i just feel numb. I will try to pray, and give up. I will look at my Bible, and have no urge to read it. I don’t feel happy. I don’t feel sad. I just have no peace. 

The world tries to sell me peace through self-help books, early morning yoga classes, a warm cup of coffee in a cozy corner.

But none of those things (and I have tried them all) are true peace. Peace of mind, maybe for a moment. But once i finish that self-help book, roll up my yoga mat, and finish that warm cup of coffee (or three), the uneasiness settles back in.

During these times, I really just don’t care to spend time with God. I want to care though. I miss the closeness I have known with God. I miss the peace.

So, what do I do? 

Psalm 51:10-12 “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a wiling spirit.”

First of all, confess of any sin or idols you have in your life. Start out on the right foot with God by humbling yourself and just being like “Lord, I know I have all these sins, but I want to get close to you, please forgive me.”

And then ask God to renew a right spirit within you. Just like David did. Ask HIm to restore the joy of salvation to you! I love these verses because it reminds me that i am not the only one who lost joy in my walk with God. Just knowing that gives me peace. 

Ask HIm to give you a willing spirit. There are a lot (alotta lot) of times where I’m just like, “God, I just don’t feel like reading right now. I don’t even feel like praying. I don’t want to go to church today, so please give me to want-to. Help me want to do this, and enjoy it while I am. I will ask Him to restore to me the joy of my salvation. That i won’t forget how He saved me and the way I felt in that moment.

Emotions are a gift from  God. But if I let my emotions be my measure for when I do and don’t read or pray, then I will stray from God very quickly, and lose my peace. 

Isaiah 26:3 “You keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trust in you.”

MIND FOCUSED ON GOD+TRUSTING SPIRIT= P E A C E

When I think about it, I mostly use the word “trust” when I or someone I know is going through a difficult time.

When things are going great in my relationships, everything is going as planned on my calendar, and I have more than 20$ in my bank account, I never say “I just need to trust God.”

This verse is a promise of perfect peace in the times when I don’t have the want-to to do anything, when my spirit is going through a difficult time. 

Philippians 4:6-9 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding , will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me- practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

If we think on these things, practice these things, request these things to God, the peace of God will be with you. 

What If Creation

​What if the stone that was forged into nails, screeched out in pain, as it peirced the Lord.

What if the rain as it fell from the sky, tried to wash away the blood and the tears that he cried.

What if his blood that soaked into the tree, tried to flow back to give life to our King 

What if the clouds that gathered above, tried to cover the shame our saviour took out of love. 

What if the ground began to shake and to split, trying to swallow the ones who in the Lord’s face they spit.

What if the thunder had cried out in anger, as all of humanity crucified the savior. 

What if all of creation hasn’t forgotten, the price that was paid, the life of the begotten. 

And now every tree, every cloud in the sky, each stone that we step on each breeze that flows by. Exists to give glory to the king of the kings. It cries out to us, He wants you to be free!

Look what he’s done, see how he’s shown, the love he has for you, just watch and you’ll know.  That each flower will live and just as quickly it dies. But each day that it bloomed “glory to him” it cried.