When My Mouth Won’t Speak

My husband is an extrovert. He loves talking to and meeting new people. Me….. not so much. I work in retail so I’m around people all day and by the time I get home, I’m drained.
I also have a hard time talking to people. I never know what to say, and my mouth just seems to never open.

Recently, a co-worker asked me a question that I wasn’t expecting. She asked me why God allows good people to die, instead of the bad people. Why do bad things happen to good people? I listened to her as she talked but my mouth just wouldn’t open. I couldn’t think of the words to say… that moment could have been where I shared the gospel and told her how Jesus wept when Lazarus died. That there is no one good. Yet how he defeated death so we didn’t have to die and could live forever… but my mouth just wouldn’t open. Of course after the conversation had moved on, I thought of what I could have said. I prayed that if God wanted me to say something else, that the conversation would get brought back up again… but it didn’t. 

I felt like Moses, when God told him to lead the people out of Eygpt and to confront Pharoah.

Exodus 4:10 “And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.”

I feel like me and Moses are in the same boat. Why is God asking me to do this when I’m awkward, and my brain freezes up whenever I’m confronted? 

I left work that day feeling a little bit defeated and like a failure. What if I didn’t say enough? Why didn’t I tell her of Lazarus?  What if she never excepts Christ because of my lack of words?

Then it hit me. I’ve told it to my husband a thousand times and then he reminded me…
Do I really think that if I, an imperfect human, messed up God couldn’t receive glory from it? My mind immediately goes to
2 Corinthians 12:9

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Maybe I was suppose to say more that day… maybe God just wanted me to listen and plant a seed. If you struggle with finding words like me and Moses…. just know that God can still use you  and even when you mess up, His is still glorified through our weaknesses.  Don’t give up and pray that when the time comes, God will give you the words to say and that He will move your mouth to speak.

Luke 21:14-15
“Settle it therefore in your hearts, not to meditate before what ye shall answer:
For I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all your adversaries shall not be able to gainsay nor resist.”


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