I’m an Inbetween

Last night me and Tj went to a fall party with my family and some friends. I had a lot of fun, and a lot of food;)

One thing I realized last night though, is that God brings us through different seasons of our life, to draw us closer to Him. 

The past two years have been an inbetween season for me. By that I mean a transitioning stage. I have gotten married, gone through two jobs, moved three times, and gone to at least 4 different churches. Along the way I have made awesome new friends, and lost some. I have outgrown alot of things spiritually. The past two years have been wonderful in the sense that I get to be with my best friend every day and that I now have an awesome church family who I love. But there has been times when I would just cry because a certain season of my life has ended. It has been difficult for me to accept the fact that God has a plan and that it is for my good (Jeremiah 29:11). 

I have been in situations when two years ago, I would have felt perfectly normal in. But now I feel a little bit out of place. When me and TJ first got married, our old friends didn’t want to hang out with us as much. One reason was because we didn’t like to watch and do some of the same things they did, but another reason was because we had gone from being girlfriend and boyfriend, to husband and wife. It was a little disheartening for us to find people to hang out with who were our age and married. But, me and Tj don’t have kids, so whenever we are around other couples we like and they have kids, i can kind of feel a little out of place. It’s like I am stuck between two stages of life and not quite sure what to do about it. 

The past two years, though they have been wonderful and I wouldn’t change them for anything, has been difficult to navigate through. But looking back, I see how I have grown so much spiritually and closer to God. 

I look back to the moments He allowed me to feel alone and broken-hearted, so I would finally stop and listen to Him beckoning me. 

In my moments of loneliness was when I now realize I was the most sought-after.

Whenever I feel like I finally can be myself around people, and I have great friendships going, and I get to hang out with my family alot, is usually when I start forgetting that my relationship with God matters most. 

“Not that I am speaking of being in need for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Phillipians 4:13 
Looking back, I am now thankful for all the lonely tears that I shed because those were the moments when I stopped and listened to God saying that HE, above all else, wants me. He loves me, and He seeks after me??!! He so wants to be close to me that He gets me alone to show me that He alone, can fulfill me. 

Psalm 73:28 “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever.”
In this verse the word flesh is also interpretted as flesh relation, near kin (family), blood relation, your self.

In the same verse, the word heart can be interpretted as thinking, memory, determination, emotions.

The word fail can also be interpretted as spent up, wasted away, vanish, perish, be destroyed, to be at an end, to cease.

So another way of reading this would be,

My family (or friends) and my emotions may cease, but God is the strength of my heart and my possession for ever.

Right now, I’m still at that awkward inbetween stage of life. Maybe you are too. Maybe you just retired, or your kids moved out, perhaps you moved out. Maybe you moved away from all your family and friends, or you’re trying to find a new church home. Maybe you just got saved and you’re in that stage where you old friends and old way of life isn’t as appealing as it once was. Where ever you’re at, don’t forget to look and listen for God in your moments of loneliness. And don’t let your moments of loneliness affect your relationship with God. Make the most out of your inbetween stages of life.

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