How Can I Hope In A God Who Hurts Me

Job 2:9 “Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.”
Whenever I first read what Job’s wife said to him I couldn’t believe such a faithful man was married to someone like her. God had alllowed Satan to take away everything from Job, his family, his livestock, his servants, his health even. And of course Job was upset, but he never sinned against God. 

Ever since we got back from our honeymoon me and Tj have been serving God and following Him without question. We have sacrificed alot especially for a newly wed couple. Now, two years later, the loan for the house we wanted fell through, we have had marriage problems that I wasn’t sure how we were going to work out, tax season did not come out in our favor, and a loved one is about to pass away. 

When all of this started happening, my first reaction was anger. Why would God not bless us when we have sacrificed for Him? He is able to heal my grandma, so why isn’t He? Why is He putting something in our marriage that seems like its tearing us apart? 

Matthew 8:23-26 “And when he got nto the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was fast asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And He said to them, “Why are you afraid , O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.”

The disciples were about to die, and Jesus was just sleeping. Why is He sleeping during what feels like the time I need him most?  To test my faith? 

The very next verse after He calms the storm is what really spoke to me.

“And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?”

He is the Son of God, who does have the power to heal (Matthew 8:16), in fact He had just got through healing many and casting out demons before He got on the boat. He can provide when there is nothing to provide with (Matthew 14:13-21). 

But, even if He didn’t calm the storm, if He didn’t heal the sick, if He didn’t feed the 5,000, He is still God.

Even though He decided not to give us that house, and make us pay in taxes, and decides not to heal my grandma, He is still God.

And that alone is more than enough reason for me to praise Him, and remain faithful in trusting that He desires good for me (Jeremiah 29:11). 

And also that He weeps with me. John 11:33 “When Jesus saw her weeping , and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled” verse 35 “Jesus wept.”

That doesn’t mean I won’t be upset or sad or disappointed. The book of Job is nothing but sorrow. 

But the last part of 2:10 is the key, “…in all this Job did not sin with his lips.”

But it gets even better! Job’s response to God’s hand of destruction was so beautiful. 

Job 13:15 “Though He slay me, I will hope in Him.”

Yesterday I was in the car driving, just listening to music and thinking about the story of Job when this song came on Spotify. Here are some of the lyrics..

“I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt, would all go away if You just say the word, but even if You don’t, my hope is You alone”

https://youtu.be/B6fA35Ved-Y (Mercy Me Even If)
If that isn’t perfect timing then I don’t know what is. 

So, when it comes down to it I do have a little (maybe more than I want to admit) of Job’s wife in me. My first reaction is anger towards God. Just curse Him and die! But I’m glad that He has mercy on me enough to work on my heart and turn it into something more like Job’s. 

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4 thoughts on “How Can I Hope In A God Who Hurts Me

  1. This post reminds me of a devotional I read today (or was it yesterday? I don’t know… everything has ran together this week). Anyway, the devotional was something like “7 Hebrew words all Christians should know”. One of the daily devotionals in this series referenced the Hebrew word for sea, which can be translated from Hebrew to English as also meaning “chaos”. So, the devotional said something like “replace the word ‘sea’ with ‘chaos’ and then the scripture would read along the lines of ‘then He arose and rebuked the winds and the chaos and there was a great calm.'”

    I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the exact scripture, but close enough. Even in the midst of a raging sea (or chaos), He is still in control. He knows what is best, just trust Him.

    Liked by 1 person

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