It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

A couple weeks ago I wrote a blog post on how I can hope in a God who hurts me.
I had no idea after writing that post that I would miscarriage. 

How Can I Hope In A God Who Hurts Me

But even through this,  which has been the most heartbreaking thing I have ever been through, I can still look back and read that post and say I do still hope in God. 

Everyone has been telling me that God has a plan, He wants the best for me, He knows what He is doing… And it is true. And I am grateful for everyone who loves me, reminding me of His love for me. But through this I have learned that even though I do have a hope, that I do know God is still good, that I will one day see my baby, I have learned that it is still okay for me to be sad. I’m not okay, and it is fine. 

I cry because I am heartbroken but at the same time I know that God has the best in mind for me and Tj, that He loves me with a love I can’t wrap my mind around. I know this, I believe this with all my heart and I am still sad.

I cry because God took away my baby, but at the same time, My hope lies in Him alone.

Job 13:15 “Though he slay me, I will hope in him.”

Maybe you haven’t experienced what I have, maybe you lost a loved one, maybe you have a prodigal child, maybe you lost your job, whatever it is, you can trust in God 100% and still be sad. And for me, that has been one of the most comforting things.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;”

It’s okay to not be okay. Sometimes there are no words that can make your situation better. Sometimes all you can do is cry, and that’s okay. 

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