The other day me and Tj were at home eating chips and salsa while sitting on the couch when we had some friends stop by. As they were sitting there visiting the only thing I could think of was, “How in the world can my house be so messy and I not notice it until now?”
I tried to remember the last time I cleaned the house really good besides a quick pick up at night.. it had been awhile. But honestly, I can’t keep my house clean like I would like, while working full time, while trying to be involved in church ministry, while balancing time between both sides of our family, while also spending time with Tj. It just doesn’t work out. I can plan and manuver things around to where I can fit everything into a week, but it also turns out by me doing things half-hearted. Something always gets pushed to the side. Sadly, it is normally my quiet time with God, or spending much needed time with my husband, and also laundry (which is honestly fine by me;).
It is like I am trying to build two brick walls, yet I don’t have enough bricks to finish each wall. It order to build one wall up, I had to tear the other down! It will never be completed because I am not building anything, I am just laboring in vain!
I know it is my pride that say I can do it all, and give my 100%. But I can’t.
I can’t give my 100% to my husband, my family, my job, my church family, and my responsibilities. I am an finite being, I have limitations and need a lot of caffeine to just wake up! I have to rely on the one who has no limitations, and who knows mine.
Seeing my house in disarray that night has made me reevaluate my priorities. That I need to sacrifice some things in my life. For me its less hours at work, which means less money. It means less cutting back on internet and spending it with my husband. It means getting to bed at a decent time so I won’t be half asleep during every single church service.
I have to sacrifice some things in my life so I can enjoy the things God has blessed me with.
Jesus sacrificed His life so I could have life in Him. I can only live my life to the fullest if I sacrifice and live for Him.
I am through building walls with the same bricks and laboring in vain.
I pray that God will give me humility to accept that I can’t do my best at anything unless I rely on Him. I pray that He will give me discernment about what to commit to, and what to skip out on. I pray He gives me energy and eagerness for my church, my job, my responsibilities (maybe even laundry), my family, my marriage,and most importantly….. my walk with God.
Ecclesiastes 9:10a “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.”
Proverbs 3: 6-8 “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”
I absolutely love that last verse. Healing and refreshment are exactly what I need and it all begins with humility.