It Doesn’t Stop After Marriage

A few weeks ago during Valentine’s Day I noticed so many Instagram post geared towards young women who are single. All of these posts encouraged them to keep waiting, trust God, be patient, don’t settle… which is great and all but looking on those posts now, as a married women, I see flaws.

I don’t mean to be cynical, but I feel like they centered your attention on a guy rather than God.

As a teenager I craved attention from guys. I hope I was not alone in that. I felt incomplete if someone didn’t find me attractive, funny, pretty, cool… I had to have attention. I always assumed in the back of my mind that once I got married, that need would be gone. And for awhile it was! I have Tj, he gives me attention and makes me feel special. But eventually, that feeling wears off and it’s not enough. I go back to the same place I used to go for attention, other people.

I think more importantly than learning to wait on God for a guy, I think young women should learn how to satisfy that craving for attention not with guys, but with God. Because that need for attention doesn’t just go away after getting married. The sooner you learn how to deal with it, the happier you will be in the future.

So here are two tips from a girl who did get married, still craves attention, and has learned from scripture how to overcome it.

1: Show Attention To Others

Whenever my mind is focused inward I become depressed, dissatisfied, and ungrateful. By looking outward, your focus isn’t on your shortcomings and flaws. You don’t need reassurance from someone else when you aren’t focusing on yourself!

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

1 Peter 5:5 “Likewise, you who are younger be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one anither, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

2: Focus On What Cannot Be Seen

I’ve noticed the more time I pay attention to my hair, makeup, and clothes the worse I feel about myself, and the more I need approval from others. When you start to focus on the inside, what really gives beauty, the more you become at peace with what you look like.

Isaiah 26:3 “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you.”

Colossians 3:2 “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”

One last verse that has helped me with this is Psalm 1:1-4. Instead of being tossed around by other people’s opinions and your need for attention, be strong and find fulfilling delight in God.

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the lae of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does now wither. In all that he does, he prospers.”

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