I’m Paranoid.

I love conspiracy theories. The Titanic? Never sank. CERN? It’s just plain creepy. I’m subscribed to more conspiracy theory podcast than anything else… Maybe I’m a nut, maybe I just see more clearly than you… lol

But in a more serious sense, I’m paranoid. Not so much that I’m crazy because the government might be spying on me (I have no idea why they are so interested in monitoring my online shopping), But sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and all of a sudden my worst sins come flooding back to mind and I just feel so much shame. I think, “What if my friends knew what I have done before?” I would be humiliated and horrified. Of course I am sure we all have some part of our past that we aren’t proud of.

Sometimes I will get so wrapped up in what I used to be/did I start to feel like that is what defines me. By human nature, defining people is what most of us do. That guy? Oh yeah he is a lawyer. Her? She is a gym-rat. Me? I’m a (insert past sin that you feel like defines you). For me, something that I feel like defines me is that I used to be hateful towards my siblings. There was such an age-gap and I reacted a lot of times with a hateful, irritated attitude.

I get so focused on what I used to be/struggle with, that I start to feel this over-whelming feeling of guilt and depression wash over. It is so strong sometimes that I can’t breathe, because there is this weight on my heart and a lump in my throat.

But I have realized that by focusing and allowing those types of thoughts to dwell in my heart and mind that I and neglecting to do the one thing that makes those feelings vanish.

I am neglecting to glorify what God has done to release me from my old sins! I am bringing the focus back to myself and what I’ve done.

There are certain things that God has declared, here are some declarations from Him, about his children.

  • I am not enslaved to what I used to be

Romans 6:6 “We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.”

  • God does not condemn (criticize or disapprove) me. 

Romans 8:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

  • I am not what/who I used to be

2 Corinthians 5:17-18 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”

  • I am hand-picked, set apart, and blameless

Ephesians 1:4 “even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.”

Not only do all of these truths apply to me and you, but there is more. There is something that God gave us to guard our hearts when we start to think that our worth is just what we have done.

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

God doesn’t give like the world does. He doesn’t give based on merit. He gives freely and fully. I don’t have to be paranoid about my old sins and what I used to be. I have the peace of God that guards my heart against that.

If you do struggle with who you are and you feel like your worth is just all your mistakes versus what little good you have in you, please know that there is something far better than yourself. You have no control over the mercy, grace, and love of God. If you feel like your heart is heavy just call out to God and pour out to Him your heart and burdens. Like John 14:27 says, God leaves you with a peace and He never takes it away. It might seem sappy and Hallmark like, but it is a real, tangible, love and peace ❤ (And seriously I’m pretty sure even God cringes at those sappy Hallmark movies sometimes too XD)

God doesn't give like the world does. He doesn't give based on merit. He gives freely and fully.

 

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The Olympics and How It Has Nothing To Do With This Blog Post – Luke 1:78-79

Within the past year I have started taking scriptures and breaking them down to the Hebrew/Greek meanings. I love doing this because it gives you a more in depth look at Bible scriptures and also at the attributes of God. For those of you who don’t know, the Old Testament was mainly written in Hebrew, and the New Testament in mainly Koine Greek which was the common language of that time period.

The more I learn about the Hebrew language the more I am fascinated by it. Learning the Hebrew meanings of certain words in scripture gives it more depth, application to our lives, and meaning. Although I prefer learning about Hebrew, the first scripture I want to look into is actually from the New Testament so it is going to be of Greek roots and origins. I study from the ESV Bible just because I feel it is more accurate to the original Greek and Hebrew than the KJV (I know I just lost a couple readers right there… LOL). But feel free to use the translation of your choice.

Luke 1:78-79

Because of the tender mercy of our God, whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”

Background: This scripture is part of a prophesy of Zechariah who was the father of John the Baptist. After John was born, Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and went into this really long prophesy about how John would prepare the way for Christ. These two verses are speaking of Christ, not John.

Because of the tender mercy of our God..”

The word tender used here is from the Greek word σπλάγχνον.

This word literally means intestines in the Greek. This was a word to describe violent love or anger. Yes, God is merciful. But not only that, He is tenderly merciful. The very inward parts of God are MERCY!

“…whereby the sunrise shall visit us on high”

Sunrise here comes from the Greek word ἀνατολή (anatolé). This means rising. Okay so not that much different right? But wait… this gets pretty cool (nerd alert).. This particular word means rising in the East. Here is some more examples of where this word is used in the Bible to give a better picture.

Matthew 2:1-2 “Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem, saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.”

Matthew 2:9After listening to the king, they went on their way. And behold, the star that they had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the child was.”

So the same sunrise which shall visit us on high and guide is into peace is the same thing that led the wise men to Christ in the manger who is the man that will guide us in the way of peace. Pretty kewl.

“…to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,”

Whenever I read the phrase to give light, I literally think of God reaching down and handing someone a giant torch. Kind of like in the Olympics.

igor-lepilin-86390-unsplash.jpg

But this is actually the word ἐπιφαίνω. Which means to literally appear and shine upon. So scratch out that image of God starting off the Olympics. Instead, He literally came down here, appeared, and shined upon us.

This same word is also found in Titus 2:11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people.” God came down brought salvation with him.

So he appeared, he brought with him light for those in darkness and salvation for all people.

One more verse ἐπιφαίνω occurs in is Titus 3:4-5

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit.”

“…to guide our feet…” 

κατευθύνω is the Greek word that guide comes from in this verse. It means straight or to exactly direct by the most efficient route that avoids all unnecessary delays or loss.

“…into the way of peace.”

 εἰρήνη, the word which peace here is taken from, means when all the parts are joined together. It means a oneness, and unity, wholeness.  This word is found 92 different times in the Bible.

The way to wholeness isn’t a 12 step program or the hokey-pokey. It is literally a straight guided efficient path guided by a light from the East (Christ). Like the one that led the wise men on a straight, direct path to the Savior in the manger. This Savior literally appeared on Earth and shined upon men. Why? Because the inner most part of Him, is mercy. A strong violent mercy. Strong enough to conquer our separation because of sin.

I love taking a verse and stripping it to it’s core roots. There is so much more than meets the eye. Knowing the context of each root word is eye opening and brings me amazement every time. I hope this amazed you as much as it did me, I really enjoyed sharing this mini scripture journey with you! After I study a verse I read it one last time. Because now that we know most of it’s core meaning, it gives you a new perspective.

Because of the tender mercy of our God, whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”

 

It Doesn’t Stop After Marriage

A few weeks ago during Valentine’s Day I noticed so many Instagram post geared towards young women who are single. All of these posts encouraged them to keep waiting, trust God, be patient, don’t settle… which is great and all but looking on those posts now, as a married women, I see flaws.

I don’t mean to be cynical, but I feel like they centered your attention on a guy rather than God.

As a teenager I craved attention from guys. I hope I was not alone in that. I felt incomplete if someone didn’t find me attractive, funny, pretty, cool… I had to have attention. I always assumed in the back of my mind that once I got married, that need would be gone. And for awhile it was! I have Tj, he gives me attention and makes me feel special. But eventually, that feeling wears off and it’s not enough. I go back to the same place I used to go for attention, other people.

I think more importantly than learning to wait on God for a guy, I think young women should learn how to satisfy that craving for attention not with guys, but with God. Because that need for attention doesn’t just go away after getting married. The sooner you learn how to deal with it, the happier you will be in the future.

So here are two tips from a girl who did get married, still craves attention, and has learned from scripture how to overcome it.

1: Show Attention To Others

Whenever my mind is focused inward I become depressed, dissatisfied, and ungrateful. By looking outward, your focus isn’t on your shortcomings and flaws. You don’t need reassurance from someone else when you aren’t focusing on yourself!

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

1 Peter 5:5 “Likewise, you who are younger be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one anither, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

2: Focus On What Cannot Be Seen

I’ve noticed the more time I pay attention to my hair, makeup, and clothes the worse I feel about myself, and the more I need approval from others. When you start to focus on the inside, what really gives beauty, the more you become at peace with what you look like.

Isaiah 26:3 “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you.”

Colossians 3:2 “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”

One last verse that has helped me with this is Psalm 1:1-4. Instead of being tossed around by other people’s opinions and your need for attention, be strong and find fulfilling delight in God.

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the lae of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does now wither. In all that he does, he prospers.”

Why I Am Done Struggling With My Sin

I’m not going to lie, this past month I have been completely discouraged in my walk with God. I feel like I have “overcome” the same sin so many times only to struggle with it again. I find myself feeling like I should be past this in my walk with God, like I already checked this off my “overcome list” so why is it back again? Being discouraged, it has been extremely difficult to write a blog post. Actually I kept telling myself that once I stop struggling with this, then I will write another post. 

But the other day I was talking to Tj about  overcoming sin and he said something that really opened my eyes. 

God doesn’t expect me to overcome my sins, He just expects me to obey Him. 

By my own will power, I can’t overcome sin. Actually apart from Christ in me, there would be no reason for  me to want to overcome my sin. I  can do nothing to overcome  my sin, because I am by nature nothing but sinful. Only Christ can. 

Hello Bryonna, that is the whole point of the cross!?? How could I have not of seen this? It’s funny how pride can cloud our vision…

It isn’t that God is asking me everyday to sacrifice my fleshly and sinful desires, but that everyday He is asking  me to obey Him. 

1 Samuel 15:22 “….to obey is better than sacrifice..”

So I will probably struggle with the same stuff I always have. I may never overcome anything, but Jesus has overcome sin and when we wants to deliver me then He will. 

I am done struggling with my sins, fighting the same fight. I have decided to focus on obeying God, then overcoming sin will come in due time.

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

When You Can’t Pray It Away

“Prayers go up Blessings come down.”

I saw that on a church sign the other week and I kind of cringed. Not because it isn’t true, but because it is misleading. Instead, they should have put “Prayers go up Answers come down.”

Not always what we want. Not always when we want. Sometimes, it seems like nothing comes down at all. Like God left and didn’t even leave a recording telling us to leave a message so He can get back to us later.

John 11:1-6 “Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. It was Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was ill. So the sisters sent to him saying, “Lord, he whom you love is ill.” But when Jesus heard it he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.”

Did you catch that? I never did until a Bible study I recently finished pointed it out. When Jesus heard that Lazarus (whom he loved) was ill, He didn’t get up and rush out to go heal him and comfort his sisters. Instead, he stayed where He was at for two more days.

After Jesus arrives, Mary falls at His feet and says “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” The Jews questioned Him, if he could heal the blind shouldn’t he be able to heal the dying? (Verses 32-37)

But Jesus had greater plans than to just heal a dying Lazarus. He wanted to bring to life a dead Lazarus! A dead Lazarus who had been buried for 4 days (verse 39). Jesus’ timing is perfect. There is always a reason. It may not seem like a good reason to us, but it is a reason that works out for our own good. No, Jesus didn’t heal Lazarus. But he did raise him from the dead.

Whenever Lazarus had died, and Jesus had still not shown up to heal him, I am sure Mary was heartbroken. Her hope was in Jesus, and He had seemingly, at the time, let her down. There are a lot of times I feel like Mary felt whenever her brother died, and Jesus never showed.

There are times when I will pray, about things that I know I can’t “pray away”. Or times I will pray about things and they just don’t go away.

When I can’t pray away the death in my family

When I can’t pray away the mistakes I have made in the past

When you can’t pray away the rejection from you job, friends, family…

When you can’t pray away the person you used to be

When you can’t pray away the test results from the doctor

There is one thing I know to do when I can’t pray it away… Pray anyways.

Even though God didn’t take away my difficult circumstances, I still pray. Even though I miscarried and I can’t pray away that it ever happened, I can still pray.

And praying has become my number one comfort. Because He is my only hope.

Job 13:15 “Though he slay me, I will hope in Him.”

 

It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

A couple weeks ago I wrote a blog post on how I can hope in a God who hurts me.
I had no idea after writing that post that I would miscarriage. 

How Can I Hope In A God Who Hurts Me

But even through this,  which has been the most heartbreaking thing I have ever been through, I can still look back and read that post and say I do still hope in God. 

Everyone has been telling me that God has a plan, He wants the best for me, He knows what He is doing… And it is true. And I am grateful for everyone who loves me, reminding me of His love for me. But through this I have learned that even though I do have a hope, that I do know God is still good, that I will one day see my baby, I have learned that it is still okay for me to be sad. I’m not okay, and it is fine. 

I cry because I am heartbroken but at the same time I know that God has the best in mind for me and Tj, that He loves me with a love I can’t wrap my mind around. I know this, I believe this with all my heart and I am still sad.

I cry because God took away my baby, but at the same time, My hope lies in Him alone.

Job 13:15 “Though he slay me, I will hope in him.”

Maybe you haven’t experienced what I have, maybe you lost a loved one, maybe you have a prodigal child, maybe you lost your job, whatever it is, you can trust in God 100% and still be sad. And for me, that has been one of the most comforting things.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;”

It’s okay to not be okay. Sometimes there are no words that can make your situation better. Sometimes all you can do is cry, and that’s okay. 

If Satan Stops Eating

Last week me and my family were sitting around the kitchen talking about pets. Someone started to tell a story that literally gave me chill bumps.

Apparently, a girl who had a pet boa constrictor took him to the vet because he had stopped eating a couple weeks ago. So she was worried about him.

The vet asked her if recently it had started stretching out next to her when she was laying down. And she said yes, that whenever she would lay down in bed, he would stretch his body out besides hers.

The vet then told her that nothing was wrong with her pet snake. In fact, the reason he had stopped eating a couple weeks ago, is because he is making room for when he plans on eating her. And that whenever he stretches out beside her on the bed, he is measuring her to determine how much room he will need to eat her.

Creepy right? 

Little do we realize that as Christians, we get just as close and naive towards our sin and Satan, who is someone much more deadlier than a boa constrictor.

A couple months ago I wrote a blog post about how sin can slither into your life seemingly right under your nose.Just like how that girl got comfortable around her deadly pet, I start to get comfortable around my sin. I start to let it get closer and closer, until suddenly its right up next to me and I am perfectly fine with it. 

Sin so easily slithers up next to us because by nature we are sinful beings. We are born comfortable around it.
Whenever I wrote my blog post about sin slithering in, I figured that I was through with that battle. I got past it, God delivered me from it, and I grew from it. But how easily it crept back into my life, stretching itself out right next to me. And I didn’t even bat an eye. 

Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

So, if you’re like me, pray that God will open your eyes to see when Satan stops eating. To see when he tries to stretch himself out beside you and devour you. Pray that you stay on guard, watchful. Because there are times when I wake up and see how close I let him get to me, and wonder how in the world I didn’t realize the danger I was in. 

How Can I Hope In A God Who Hurts Me

Job 2:9 “Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.”
Whenever I first read what Job’s wife said to him I couldn’t believe such a faithful man was married to someone like her. God had alllowed Satan to take away everything from Job, his family, his livestock, his servants, his health even. And of course Job was upset, but he never sinned against God. 

Ever since we got back from our honeymoon me and Tj have been serving God and following Him without question. We have sacrificed alot especially for a newly wed couple. Now, two years later, the loan for the house we wanted fell through, we have had marriage problems that I wasn’t sure how we were going to work out, tax season did not come out in our favor, and a loved one is about to pass away. 

When all of this started happening, my first reaction was anger. Why would God not bless us when we have sacrificed for Him? He is able to heal my grandma, so why isn’t He? Why is He putting something in our marriage that seems like its tearing us apart? 

Matthew 8:23-26 “And when he got nto the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was fast asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And He said to them, “Why are you afraid , O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.”

The disciples were about to die, and Jesus was just sleeping. Why is He sleeping during what feels like the time I need him most?  To test my faith? 

The very next verse after He calms the storm is what really spoke to me.

“And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?”

He is the Son of God, who does have the power to heal (Matthew 8:16), in fact He had just got through healing many and casting out demons before He got on the boat. He can provide when there is nothing to provide with (Matthew 14:13-21). 

But, even if He didn’t calm the storm, if He didn’t heal the sick, if He didn’t feed the 5,000, He is still God.

Even though He decided not to give us that house, and make us pay in taxes, and decides not to heal my grandma, He is still God.

And that alone is more than enough reason for me to praise Him, and remain faithful in trusting that He desires good for me (Jeremiah 29:11). 

And also that He weeps with me. John 11:33 “When Jesus saw her weeping , and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled” verse 35 “Jesus wept.”

That doesn’t mean I won’t be upset or sad or disappointed. The book of Job is nothing but sorrow. 

But the last part of 2:10 is the key, “…in all this Job did not sin with his lips.”

But it gets even better! Job’s response to God’s hand of destruction was so beautiful. 

Job 13:15 “Though He slay me, I will hope in Him.”

Yesterday I was in the car driving, just listening to music and thinking about the story of Job when this song came on Spotify. Here are some of the lyrics..

“I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt, would all go away if You just say the word, but even if You don’t, my hope is You alone”

https://youtu.be/B6fA35Ved-Y (Mercy Me Even If)
If that isn’t perfect timing then I don’t know what is. 

So, when it comes down to it I do have a little (maybe more than I want to admit) of Job’s wife in me. My first reaction is anger towards God. Just curse Him and die! But I’m glad that He has mercy on me enough to work on my heart and turn it into something more like Job’s. 

I Don’t Want The Crumbs

In my grandma’s house, on top of her piano, are old black and white pictures of her grandparents, great grandparents, cousins, etc… She has told me their names before and how I’m related to them but honestly, I couldn’t tell you if I was paid to (Sorry Nanny).
I do remember though, that whenever she talks about the people in the pictures, I can tell that they mean alot to her. Because she knew them personally, for herself, firsthand. The difference between my relationship with them, and my grandma’s reationship with them is that she knew them personally, while I just know second-hand acounts, stories, and basically just a brief overview of who they are. 


When I was first saved, I wouldn’t study the Bible for myself. My spiritual life was barely surviving on devotionals sent to my email each morning, seeing a verse against a pretty background on Instagram, and reading a cheesy, cliche, christian quote on Facebook. While those things can be good, they can’t sustain me a healthy relationship with God. 

I love to listening to John Piper’s Ask Pastor John videos on Youtube. They are short, thought provoking, and are filled with good Biblical principles that I can apply to my life. But I have noticed that instead of going and reading the Bible for myself to see what God has to show me, I will scrolll through Youtube and find a John Piper message that I feel like applies to me for that day. 

Going to church and listening to sermons is a good thing, but when you start to depend on the preacher to be your only line of communication between you and God, it isn’t so much a good thing anymore.

Whenever I tell people about Jesus, I want to speak of him like my grandma does with the pictures on her piano. I want to have a genuine care and relationship. A first hand account of my relationship with Him, not John Piper’s relationship with Him, or my pastor’s relationship with him, or even what a devotional says about my relationship with Him. I want a first hand account, personal relationship with Him. 

Psalm 119:103 “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!”

Yes, reading daily devotions, listening to sermons, reading clever christian quotes can be a good thing. They can feed my spiritual life and sustain me. But in comparison for actually reading and studying the Bible for myself, those are just the crumbs. I don’t want to live off of the crumbs from the Bread of Life!

John 6:35 “Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.”

So whenever I tell an unbeliever about Jesus Christ, I want them to hear it in my voice that I know Him. Not just second-hand stories, but personally know Him like my grandma knew the people in the pictures on her piano. Why settle for just the crumbs when I can open up the Bible and read what God has to say to me for the day:) 

I Don’t Love My Husband

“Tj when we get home do you care taking Moose out to go potty while I hop in the shower?” (moose is our puppy)

“Sure.”

….. It wasn’t that he said sure. But it was the way he said it.  

“Whatever Tj.”

We got home, he took Moose outside and I got in the shower seriously debating on whether or not to leave him any hot water (I’m a monster, I know.) 

While I was in there debating on whether or not to give into my pride I remembered something I had read earlier today in A Woman’s Walk With GOD by Elizabeth George.

“Love is the sacrifice of self.” 

Earlier today when I was reading that book in my room, cup of coffee in my hand. It seemed like a great concept and all. But now a couple hours later, I’m not so sure…

 The truth is, I knew this for awhile. God is love. God sent his only Son to die. Jesus sacrificed his life for us. As a Christian I am suppose to show His love to everyone around me. It just never really clicked until today that love is sacrificing my pride, my comfort, my  energy, my time, my rest, my wants, my needs, my opinions, my desires, for someone elses. 

Matthew 20:28 “even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

True love is not self seeking.

William Barclay said “Love means that no matter what a man may do to us by way of insult or injury or humiliation we will never seek anything else but his highest good…never..seek anything but the best even for those who seek the worst for us.”

Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

As  wife I am called to put Tj’s needs before mine. Not because I love him, but because I am suppose to demonstrate God’s love for him. The only way I will ever be able to truly love someone is if it is from God. Not only that, but because I love God, I should want to love others.  

Maybe you don’t have a husband. But if you are a Christian, this still applies to you. We are called to love our neighbors, our enemies, our friends, our family, that mean lady in the checkout line, the annoying co-worker, the bully at school or work, etc…. (John 13:34) (Matthew 5:43-45)

But if you aren’t saved and you never received Christ into your heart, then you don’t know what true love is. You can’t truly love someone. 

Whenever Jesus died on the cross to take the payment for our sins, and He rose again in three days, He showed us the greatest act of self-sacrificing love. He literally sacrficed himself for our sake. If you want self sacrificing love in your life, if you want to love someone with a self-sacrificing love, you can only do that if you received it from God himself by admiting that you are a sinner worthy of death, and that you believe Jesus was the Son of God and rose from the dead. 

Romans 3:23-24 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”

So, yes I love Tj. But I don’t always love him like I suppose to.

I don’t think I had a choice in falling in love with TJ (that was God’s plan). But  I do have a choice in loving him everyday with a self sacrificing love that can only come from God.