Can I Accept The Lord’s Chastisment?

So this morning I was reading my Bible in 1 Samuel about Hannah wanting a child and getting pregnant and because God answered her prayers she gave him to the priest, Eli,  to raise him up. I continued to read about how Eli’s own sons were misusing offerings (a big deal) and sleeping with different women and the door of the tabernacle (again, a big deal). It goes on to say how Eli honoured his sons over God by allowing them to continue on with their sins (chapter 2 vs. 29). Chapter 3:1-18 is the part of this story that spoke to my heart.

And the child Samuel ministered unto the LORD before Eli. And the word of the LORD was precious in those days; there was no open vision.
2 And it came to pass at that time, when Eli was laid down in his place, and his eyes began to wax dim, that he could not see;
3 And ere the lamp of God went out in the temple of the LORD, where the ark of God was, and Samuel was laid down to sleep;
4 That the LORD called Samuel: and he answered, Here am I.
5 And he ran unto Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou calledst me. And he said, I called not; lie down again. And he went and lay down.
6 And the LORD called yet again, Samuel. And Samuel arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me. And he answered, I called not, my son; lie down again.
7 Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD, neither was the word of the LORD yet revealed unto him.
8 And the LORD called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me. And Eli perceived that the LORD had called the child.
9 Therefore Eli said unto Samuel, Go, lie down: and it shall be, if he call thee, that thou shalt say, Speak, LORD; for thy servant heareth. So Samuel went and lay down in his place.
10 And the LORD came, and stood, and called as at other times, Samuel, Samuel. Then Samuel answered, Speak; for thy servant heareth.
11 And the LORD said to Samuel, Behold, I will do a thing in Israel, at which both the ears of every one that heareth it shall tingle.
12 In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house: when I begin, I will also make an end.
13 For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.
14 And therefore I have sworn unto the house of Eli, that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering for ever.
15 And Samuel lay until the morning, and opened the doors of the house of the LORD. And Samuel feared to shew Eli the vision.
16 Then Eli called Samuel, and said, Samuel, my son. And he answered, Here am I.
17 And he said, What is the thing that the LORD hath said unto thee? I pray thee hide it not from me: God do so to thee, and more also, if thou hide any thing from me of all the things that he said unto thee.
18 And Samuel told him every whit, and hid nothing from him. And he said, It is the LORD: let him do what seemeth him good.

So, the Lord is going to punish Eli and his sons for the sins they have committed against God. (By the way, his son’s sins affected not only themselves,  but their dad and wives and offspring too.. your sins have an affect on more people than you realize.)

When Eli hears what God had told Samuel, his reaction spoke to my heart. He didn’t weep, or try to bargain his way out of it. He didn’t argue or get angry at God, he accepted it. More than that, he praised God with his response. He acknowledged that God knows what is good.

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If I had just been told that I was going to die early because of sins my sons committed and because I didn’t stop them,  I would not have replied like Eli.

I mean, how many times have I prayed for God’s will, yet didn’t want to hear it because I was afraid it would go against my will…. Yes Lord, I want to follow you and do what you want and praise you but only if the outcome is what I have planned.

Sure, Eli obviously had major family issues, but his response showed a heart of humility,  and obedience. When God chastises me, do I say He knows what is best because He is good. Or do I pout and feel bad for myself then give excuses for my behavior.

Yes Lord, You know what is good, chastise me according to how you see fit. What strength it took to say those words. Strength that can only come from one who trust God wholeheartedly and wants His will.

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My Struggle With Bitterness

I have been married to my husband, Tj, for a year and one month:) This past year has been wonderful being with my best friend every day:) Yet marriage is so much more than I thought it was. One thing I have realized this past year, is that being married means learning as much about yourself as you do your spouse.
It shows you your true heart and sometimes, it’s ugly.

I never realized how bitter of a person I could be until recently. God used my husband to show me my true heart, and I’m so thankful he did. Before I begin, I want whoever is reading to know this: I follow and read alot of blogs and most of them are written by newly wed couples. On social media, their life is perfect, their relationship with God is strong,  and they never have problems with their spouse. I am not that way. I’ll be the first to admit that I have a lot of stuff to work on in my heart. And I don’t care who knows that because I’m not perfect.

Now, to the heart of the matter… bitterness. Just saying the word dries your mouth and makes you thirsty. I never thought of myself as a bitter person until recently… Here’s how I found out..

The past year I have been making an extra effort to dress modestly. Not because of church or ministry,  but because of personal convictions. For example, I’ve gotten rid of all my old shorts and replaced them with more modest ones. Doing that was easy, wearing them in public was easy…until me and my husband would pass by girls who were provocatively dressed. Am I okay with girls walking around my husband with their boobs hanging out and their shorts two inches long? Ummmm no? I see these girls and I instantly get bitter and hateful (especially if they are eyeing Tj). My heart swells up like its been stung and filled with poison (bitterness is worse than poison actually). My first instinct is to glare these girls down and shun them for dressing this way. You might think I’m jealous (well yeah? I don’t want my husband seeing any girls body like that except mine. And I especially don’t like the fact that he can be tempted to lust after these women). (Ps word of advice, pray for your husband!! It’s a sinful world, so pray for him in every aspect!) How can they walk around like that don’t they have any self-worth.
Well Bryonna, they don’t know their self worth. I remember dressing as skimpy as I could get away with because I wanted to feel accepted. I wanted someone to want me. And at the time, because of the people I was around at school and the media burning it into my mind, I thought that was my way to find acceptance. I was small compared to other girls and felt boyish. I felt like I had to make up for my “shortcomings” by dressing that way.

Was I not saved? Yes. I was! But I lost sight of where my worth came from! I listened to the lies Satan nudged my way. I ended up being miserable, with the wrong guy, and so far from God that I cried myself to sleep almost every night. I tried to find satisfaction apart from God, and it left me feeling empty.

It’s hard for me to walk past girls who dress provocatively (especially with my husband around) and not get bitter towards them. It’s so hard for me to swallow my pride and think of them as a hurting and empty soul just wanting to be loved. It’s hard for me to remind myself that I have been where they are and that I still struggle everyday with dressing to show my true worth. And to some people, the way I dress may not be modest in their opinion. But modesty isn’t the point of this post… my heart is.
It’s hard for me to think that maybe they don’t see any thing wrong with dressing that way maybe they don’t know what the Bible says, maybe they aren’t saved, maybe their parents don’t care what they wear? Whatever. The point is, being bitter like that is a sin.

Maybe you don’t feel bitter about this subject, I know that bitterness has crept into a lot of areas in my life. Whenever i encounter a rude person, I immediately swell up and feel bitter. Maybe for you it’s towards a co-worker, a friend, a family member who has caused a lot of grief in your family (I understand that feeling too). Pray that God will help you to see them as a soul trying to fill a void or as He sees them. Because bitterness is like a weed that keeps coming back stronger and stronger. It leaves you thirsty and quenched for the peace of God.

I can babble on some more about this but I believe Ephesians 4:31-32 sums it perfectly….

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

It’s Okay To Be Godly

It’s Okay To Be Godly

It may not be Easy to be a woman in this world, but it is Perfect to be in His Hand.

Sometimes I think, “What’s the point?” Why even try to be a godly woman, when nobody is looking for one? It’s not “cool” or in “style”; in fact, its the opposite. But I realize, when I do get out of God’s will, go my own way, then follow the world and it’s standards; I become unhappy, confused, and sad. If you’re saved, I’m sure you’ve felt this way before too. SO, is it worth the hard decisions and occasional discomfort, to be a godly girl?

People aren’t saved to live a life like everyone else. A Christian has a purpose and promising life! ~ 1 Timothy 6:11-15

When you were saved, God rejoiceed! He had found a lost daughter, one He loves and died for! When a Christian is out of the will of God, and then returns to Him, He rejoices! When has the world rejoiced in you? The world doesn’t cherish and delight in you like God does ~ Luke 15:11-24

By living a godly lifestyle, not only will you be blessed, happy, and pleasing to God, but you’ll also be an example and witness to others! ~ 1 Timothy 4:12-16

Every thing the world treasures and promotes, isn’t eternal. It’s not as good as what God has to offer you ~ Matthew 6:19-20 ~ Psalm 63:3

Living a godly lifestyle isn’t easy, the Bible says we are suppose to endure hardness as a good soldier. (2 Timothy 2:3) But it’s worth it! Not only is it worth it, but we as saved people, are called to live a godly life to please the Lord! When life gets hard, and you feel like giving up, remember that it’s okay to be godly in an ungodly world. It’s actually great to be godly:) Even if it’s not what everyone else is doing. Because you have something that lasts. You have a greater purpose and calling in life! You are treasured by a great God:)

Whenever you feel unloved, unimportant, or insecure, remember to whom you belong

Ephesians 2:19